So gin and wine won't be happening again
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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