weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
