If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
