and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize