So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
