May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
