Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize