drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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