Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
