What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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