You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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