**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
