I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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