I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
