I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
