Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
