i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
