For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
