Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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