I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Be still, my beating vagina.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
