I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
