They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
