I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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