i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
