I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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