Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
