I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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