I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
