That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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