I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
This baby is an asshole
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize