I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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