He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
