There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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