I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
