Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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