Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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