And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
