Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
