Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
