What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
