Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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