I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
