she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
