i don't like sucking hair
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
