if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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