ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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