Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
