I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
