So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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