It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
