On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
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