I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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