i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
