I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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