Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
