She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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