I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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