i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
