If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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