How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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