Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
