What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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