Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
