I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize