Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize