i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
