Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize