Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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